He took out the trash. She walked the dog. He did the dishes. She brought in the mail. He picked up some flowers. She said he looked handsome.

Falling into a pattern of chores and actions is totally normal in a relationship. Even when you are dating and getting to know someone, there are plenty of little and big things each party does either because it is asked for or just-because.

The important thing to keep in mind at any stage is continual gratitude. The rather simple action of telling someone "thanks" can carry a relationship through extremely tough times and build stronger bonds. Additionally, it will influence behaviors - and while you can't change you mate, you can sort of change your mate (see my Changing Your Mate for details).

The Basics of Giving Thanks
Showing gratitude to your mate or date is a key component of relationship support and maintenance.

Oo. Notes

When you are going out on dates with someone you are interested in (or even not, because it is politie) be sure to thank him/her. This includes:

• If you meet your date - thank him/her for taking the time to get to know you.
• If your date pays for dinner - thanks him/her for the generosity. 
• If your date holds doors/pulls out chairs - thank him/her for making things easier.
• If your date brings you a little something - thank him/her for the thoughtfulness.
• If your date teaches you something - thank him/her for taking the time.

When you have secured a relationship, don't let the gratitude die with the butterflies because it helps the relationship grow stronger and provide more for both individuals. Make sure you thank your mate for routine things s/he does as well as when s/he does something extra special.

Remember, it's no one's job to be in a relationship, it is a labor of love! Make sure you take note.

You might need to come up with ways to tell your mate you appreciate him/her, these can include:

• Food - make it, buy it. Food.
• Leave notes of thanks.
• Hugs and kisses.
• Send ecards/texts.
• Get sexy for him/her for no real reason.
• Doing extra chores when you can to your mate doesn't have to.

The Basics of Getting Thanks
Gratitude is a two way street and it doesn't work so well when the other people doesn't understand that they are being thanked or doesn't get thanks.

If you find you are not being shown any gratitude for what you do for your mate evaluate your behavior first before anything. It might be you are not being thanked for flooding your mate's inbox with messages and calling him/her about every funny thing or trying out bizarre recopies for dinner because your mate doesn't actually like these things.

Next, you want to make sure you are not missing your mate's thanks. Maybe your mate just got a new responsibility (personal or professional) and doesn't have the time to make large, sweeping romantic gestures (or dirty ones, for that matter). However, maybe you mate has been saying, "I'm glad your here to help me through this." or maybe changed the oil in your car. It might not be what you perceived as getting thanks, but, it might be how your mate is trying to show you s/he cares.

Finally, ask for what you need and want. If you find yourself bending over backwards and doing more and more and feeling like you are getting less and less, make it known to your mate that you are trying to show your love and affection but you feel shut out, shut down or ignored.

Image Credit
Thank you from fearlesscompetitor.com.