A lot of stuff can be said for magazines and movies - the media is telling you how you need to weigh less and be in a relationship, wear different clothes and probably spend more money. Is it safer to read books to get a good idea of how to find a quality relationship?

Maybe no.

Vampire Love
With the popularity of Twilight and all those other books, it was brought to my attention the hordes of teenagers - and adults - reading these books. I heard that the love story part was very good - until I pawed through some excerpts. It's actually fairly shocking that a generally abusive relationship is now being used as the model of "true love."

Let's review some awesomely red-flag, run-for-the-hills quotes that if anyone ever utters to you, you should get out. These two lists are from the National Domestic Violence hotline:

You may be in an abusive relationship if your partner:

• Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.
• Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive.
• Tries to isolate you from family or friends.
• Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with.
• Does not want you to work.
• Controls finances or refuses to share money.
• Punishes you by withholding affection.
• Expects you to ask permission.
• Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.
• Humiliates you in any way. 
• Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
• Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you,
• Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
• Scared you by driving recklessly.
• Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you.
• Forced you to leave your home.
• Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving.
• Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
• Hurt your children.
• Used physical force in sexual situations.

 Now, let's check out some awesome quotes from Twilight:

• "Stay away from the werewolves. I love you."
• "If I wasn't so attracted to you, I wouldn't have to break up with you."
• "I just can't live without you. In fact, I'll run to Italy and try suicide by vampire if anything happens to you." 

And let's check on some awesome situations:

• Edward tries to control who Bella is friends with.
• He breaks into her house and watches her when she sleeps. This is illegal.
• He listens in on her conversations with friends and encourages his family to spy on her.
• Bella makes excuses, claiming Edward is overprotective and only acts this way because he "loves her."  

Here is a video someome compiled of other quotes:

Thoughts
Unfortunately, there is now a whole section of people who have read these books and watches these movies. Now, some of them, believe this type of love is "true love" and "epic romance."

The problem with abuse, is these behaviors start out as being flattering. Imagine being with someone who just adores you and you can just be always together and share everything.

Then it gets creepy. Then you are breaking your mate's stuff so s/he can't meet up with friends. Then you are covering up bruises because the love is so intense it results in physical things.

It is important to keep reality in mind when you are reading a book or watching TV. These types of relationships are toxic and wrong. If you happen to be a parent, you should take a moment to understand these situations and guide your children on the right path.

If you are trying to create a relationship like this one in Twilight - stop. Just stop.

My thoughts exactly

More Media and Relationships
If you like my thoughts - you can check out my other installments on media and relationships in one location - my Media and Relationships page.

Image Credit
Cartoon from static3.kilu.net.