Most of us have dealt with heartbreak. I actually think it is one of the things that most of us people have in common and you'd think it would automatically make us all more compassionate. Knowing what a heartbreak is like is probably the number one reason to be careful with the hearts entrusted to you, regardless of how you feel. It's a responsibility to the universe.

The chance at being emotionally connected to someone can be rewarding or scary. I know a lot of people who are scared to connect emotionally because they have gotten burned before. Sometimes it's the sting from a short-term flight, sometimes the confusion and hurt from a long-term situation. Whichever or whatever the case, the idea of dealing with the hurt or discomfort all over, or feeling like a fool over someone, can be more than people want to deal with. 

"Damaged Goods"

Having been on both ends of the heartbreaking thing, it can be enough to shut down and withdraw. Some people never get over a heartbreak, and by nursing the wound rather than repairing it, they become "damaged goods."

In general, a heartbreak will create one or more of the following:

• A shut down: The result is refusing to open up or accept anything because things hurt sometimes and it is easier to be numb or keep the hurt alive because hurt is almost never dynamic - it is predictable and familiar.
• A clinger: The one who seeks to accept everything and consumes everything, perhaps ultimately sabotaging things, and creating a deeper emptiness by jamming any connection into those hurt places to cover them, hide them or destroy them.
• Being Grateful: The ability to remain open to experiences, understanding that everything in nature ends in death and since the outcome is known, there should only be a reverence and gratitude for the journey however long or short it maybe.
  

A Fix?

Each heartbreak is like a snowflake - unique and independent of the last one. Sometimes it only takes a couple days or weeks to get over a burnt-out flame, sometimes it takes longer. I have a couple ways of dealing with a heartbreak that do not include rebound sex or making otherwise harmful decisions:

• Feel it: It is important not to mask or hide your pain. You were rejected. It hurts. Urg. Feel it now, or it's going to come out at some inopportune time. 
• Stop hatin': Hating your burnt-out flame is mostly a useless. Hate is just fear and rejection masked. The long you let the fear and hate be the only thing you feel and your only reaction you have, the less likely you will be to heal yourself. Plus, it's unattractive.
  
• Dramatically and unapologetically get it all out: Yes, I talk incessantly about it to any friend who will listen and pretty much cry on command until I feel like I got it all out. As long as your method doesn't cause yourself pain (too much drinking, drugs, etc.) or pain to others (one-night stands, fights, etc.).
• Reconnect with friends: Nothing like a heartbreak to remind you of those who are really always there for you. This will help heal your tender spots.
• Remember the bad times: It's rare that everything in a relationship was going perfectly and then someone breaks up with the other one. Really, really rare. Remind yourself there are reasons you are better off out of the relationships. There is probably something better out there.

Learn

Try to keep things in balance. You aren't perfect, neither was your burnt-out flame. The whole relationship wasn't all horrible.

It is important to take the time to think about the relationship and why it ended. You might never get the answers you want from your burnt-out flame, but when you start feeling better about life, you should take the time to see if you can find any patterns or red flags.

It is good to think about both sides of the relationship - the good and the bad. The bad is the stuff you could do without in your next relationship The good is the stuff you learned and absolutely want in your next flame.

Then live life. If that means getting back into the dating world, do so. If it means taking some time to just go crazy with you friends and hobbies, do that.

The overwhelming point is to not get lost and to always move with purpose.