My rules for the first date have a couple sub-rules, it's more like a routine. Yes, I have an holy love of statistics and routine.

Let's be honest, once you land that first date, it's not like you are all in the clear. The point of the first date is to check out your victim date and if everything goes well, secure your chances for a second date and continue the journey to wherever you want it to go.

The Meet 'n' Greet
Specifically for online dating, I always look at the "first date" really as a "meet 'n' greet." However, I do not look at it as an interview. I'm not a job - I am a person. I am looking for my mate, not an employee.

When you are meeting someone you only met online before, it can be a strange situation. It's not the same as a blind date where you know nothing and it's not the same as having chatted with someone at some social event and meeting up with them later - it's somewhere in between.

Ideally, before you agreed to meet this person, you read your date's profile, exchanged some emails and texts and maybe a phone call - in other words, you have some background. You don't know how true it is and you also aren't sure how much of your own hopes and dreams you placed on this information, forming it into what you want as opposed to what the person meant.

Stressed? Naa. This is fun!

Expectations
I like to go into the first date with no more expectation than a good time. I accept the fact that I am probably going to be wrong about certain things but I also focus on the excitement of meeting someone and learning something new. I can get excited over some conversation and a free cup of coffee.

I can get excited over string, too.

This happens in my brain. Daily.

On the first date, the meet 'n' greet, I try to avoid extremely deep or serious talks, even if I am aware of a situation. If my date introduces a topic, that's fine, my job is to listen and. . .well. . .judge.

And to make my date feel comfortable.

Yes! Make your date feel comfortable! Give your date a genuine compliment, say "thanks." Be kind and forgiving. Even if you know you will never go out with this person again, don't be immature.

Conversation
What do you talk about? Now, every person is different, I certainly have had discussions that seemed normal with one date that would have been inappropriate on another date. You have to feel out your date so you don't overdo something or overstep your lines. Even if you think your date would be ok with you asking certain things, it doesn't always mean you should. It also doesn't mean you never ask about these things, it's just, not on the first date. Remember, meet 'n' greet, light, friendly and fun.

Here are my guidelines, the things I will avoid talking about on a first date:

• Your divorce/spouse's death - how, when, where, why.
• Politics (even if you agree!).
• When was your last relationship?
• Hidden tattoos.
• Why are you a vegetarian/vegan/etc?
• Why do you subscribe to that religion you support?
• Do you have a criminal background?
• Do you want to get married?
• How much do you make?
• What's your favorite sexual position?
• How big is your wank?
• How many kids do you want?
• Sickness/illnesses.
• Any race/sex jokes.
• My family-member is a jerk or general dark family stuff.
• General negative stuff - things you hate.

I try to keep conversation light. I make sure to scope out my date's profile one more time the day before the date. I also skim through any emails or texts for information. There is nothing sexier (in my book) than someone saying, "Hey, you emailed you were having a rough week, what happened?" or "You were saying you went hiking last weekend - How was that?" So, I try to do that.

Minusing super specifics that you might want to ask your date based on your previous communications, there are topics I do like to talk about and introduce:

• Your specific hobby - how did you get involved in it?
• How was your week/weekend?
• Books/movies/TV shows - keep it general, don't focus on one topic if your date never saw/read it.
• What do you do?
• Do you enjoy it what you do?
• Do you have any siblings?
• Events/concerts.
• Hidden local treasures.
• Where did you go to school?
• How is online dating going for you?
• Have you ever been here before?
• Where are you from?
• Food.
• What are you looking forward to this summer/spring/winter/fall?
• How was your last vacation/trip?
• Do you have any pets?

So, take a deep breath, smile and have a good time. You have the chance to meet someone who you normally might never have met. It might also be your last first date.

Ultimately, if you have a lot of "horror" dates, it might mean you need to go back to your screening process and change it up so you find yourself some quality dates.