You are going to have to come up with a profile. Do NOT overlook the importance of the profile. This single thing can mean the different between a “Hey, how are you?” and someone hitting the block button. 

Now, a profile is about you and everyone is different, so, work your own personality in there. It is probably a good idea to first write out what you want to say as a cathartic mess. Then go back and edit it down and clean it up. Having a shinny, thought-out profile communicates to the masses, “I put some thought into this, I'm not a loser, I'm pretty awesome, actually.” Having a junky, error-ridden profile says, “I will treat you like I treated this profile! You will be confused and unsatisfied.”

Let's, also, type like adults. No text-talk, all caps, no caps, numbers substituting for letters. . .and just run spell check, just once. Please. For me. <3

The Two Simple Rules

There are two simple rules you should always follow when you are setting up a profile.

• Don't lie.
• Seriously, don't lie.

The problem with lying on your profile is if you get someone to meet you based on deceit, well, we're going to figure it out and then we will hate you. 

For example, a guy I went on a date listed his height at 5'10, his body type as "athletic" and claimed he had his Masters. When I met him, he was shorter than me (I was about 5'8 in my heels), had a gut (like a beer gut) and later explained how he was studying for the GREs to get into grad school. The problem was, he was actually a nice guy and I would have gone out with him even if he was 5'8, average/a few extra pounds with just a bachelors degree. As it turned out, since he lied, I kicked him to the curb and actually didn't feel the need to tell him why.

I mean, really, did you think I wouldn't notice these things?

Here is a simple formula for creating a great profile:

• Opening.
• About you.
• Activities.
• What you want.
• Invitation.

Let's break it down because it's Friday night and I ain't go nobody. .I got no money 'cause I just paid my bills. . .

Opening

Your first sentence should be your strongest. Hit the ground running, dive right into it. Most people read the first sentence. If it's interesting, they will read more. If it sucks, they will move on. Even if you are really hot in your photos. Nothing is more disappointing than a hotty with a sucky profile. 

 

A good opening would be:

• I consider myself a really fortunate person and thankful for what I have.
• I believe in balance. I love going out for wings or sushi, beer or wine, museums or football games.
• I appreciate you reading my profile. I am at a great place in my life and ready to start this New Year with even more positive energy than before.

A bad opening would be:

• Well i dont know what to say here really. so here goes a try!
• I'm a fun loving, easy going guy.
• I don't know why I'm here.

About you:

I can hear you – but Amanda, I'm not good at talking about myself. Good. Because you are writing (haha). This is the forum you choose, get over it. Remember, the people reading your profile like your pictures and want to know about you.

Try to make yourself stand out. The first way you can do this is by doing a quick backwards search – in other words, do a search like you would think your perfect mate would. Then read the profiles of your competition. If you are doing it with friends, do a shot for every time you read “I'm easy going” or “I like to have fun.” Don't use anything remotely close to these statements in your profile.

Remember, don't be sarcastic (even if you are in real life) because things like humor and sarcasm don't always come across in the written word. These people don't know you and if they sense you are somehow unfriendly or mean, they will move on. They aren't being “picky” or “stuck up,” you just repulsed them.

Avoid negativity. I don't care if your last boyfriend/girlfriend ripped your heart out, put it in a blender with some cut glass and made you drink this smoothy of rejection while laughing and making out with your best friend. Negativity also hides in phrases like, “I need to be attracted to the person I date” or “No superficial people, please.” Don't sound like a jerk. Stick to your best traits.

Activities:

Spend a little time talking about something you are passionate about. Passion is always sexy, even if you are passionate about something you think is odd. Trust me, I would prefer to read about how you really like stamp collecting than read, “I like to have fun and hang out.” The thing about showing what you are interested in and passionate about is people will automatically assume since you are interested in something, you must be interesting. Goal!

What You Want

It's not completely necessary, but, to boost your chances at getting to that first date, it's helpful to clearly list what you are looking for. Don't be coy about it. Put it out there. If you are looking for marriage, state it. If you just want to hook-up and keep it cool, put it out there. Examples:

• I'm ultimately looking for marriage, but, I'm not in a rush!
• I'm just looking to make some friends and have a good time.
• I'm looking for a short-term thing but for the right one, I could do long-term.
• I'm looking to break out of my shell, hit up some bars and have a good time.
• I'm not looking for anything too serious right now.
• I'm looking to share my love with a lot of guys/ladies.

The Invitation

Basically, ask for what you want. Give this potential first-date a friendly invitation to message you. It's not a bad idea to even put in something like “Thanks for reading” or “Have a great day.” But, only if you would say this normally. A good ending might be:

• If you like my profile, send me a message and I'll get back to you.
• That's a good summary of who I am, but, there's a lot more. Send me a message if you think we could connect.
• Email me to get this party started.

In my next installment, I think I am going to list my top all-time favorite worst profile statements. I got to share this with someone.